It's not always easy, but I choose to believe

Phillips, Craig, and Dean -  I choose to believe

Written by Dan Dean, Tony Wood, and Don Pythress
 [Performed by Phillips, Craig, and Dean]. On Breathe In [CD]. Fair Trade Services 2011 Songs from Exit 71/Sony/ ATV Cross Keys Publishing (admin by Sony/ATV Tunes LLC)

 Ever feel like a song was written specifically for you?  When listening to their new CD, I found myself  thinking back to my dad's heart attack and how I felt and all the questions, I had, so I decided to write down what I was thinking. If someone reads this who doesn't know me, Bill is one of my two brothers, Sabrina and Karlee are two of my three sisters, and Karen is a co-worker

It didn't take long for my whole world to change

On 10/15/09, when it was time for lunch I went to Target with Karen.

One phone call now life will never be the same

I had just walked into Target and Bill called. I ignored, he would call back if it was important.  He immediately called again. I knew something was wrong.

It's like I'm watching my whole world go dark

“Dad collapsed!," Bill cried. I told Karen we need to go, and asked her if she could drive

Nothing makes much sense
What happened? Mom called, dad collapsed, she is following the ambulance, they pulled off the highway.  His heart stopped beating, they got him back, this happened several times.  

But still with all my heart
           My heart was hurting
 
Chorus
I Choose to believe

“We pray and believe”, said Sabrina

And never give up hope
            He can’t die, how will we go on

God is good

All the time

He's in control,

If it is your will to take my father, please make sure you take care of my mom

I'll keep the faith,

But I really want my dad to stay here

I trust in His way,  

I know your way is best even if it hurts us, we will be ok

Even when His face is hard to see,

Where are you? Why has this happened?

I choose to believe,

            “We pray and believe”, said Sabrina

Verse 2
It's easy to believe when everything goes our way

Did I pray today? No  Did I read my bible today? No

But we are all gonna go threw fire to test our faith,

or a blazing inferno, I can't imagine how mom, Bill and Karlee felt as they watched the ER   doctors  
 

Life hurts so much that we can hardly breathe,

Will he live or will he die, why isn’t he waking up?  Are you keeping him asleep on purpose? Yes  When will you stop?  When we can take the breathing tube out.  When will that be?   We don’t know

We're begging to know why,

God, if you are going to take him then do it now, don’t let him suffer, if he get’s to stay, please let him wake up

But it's such a mystery

The doctors don’t understand how he’s still alive

Chorus
I Choose to believe

“We pray and believe”, said Sabrina

And never give up hope
            He can’t die, not until I can say Goodbye

God is good

All the time

He's in control,

If it is your will to take my father, please make sure you take care of my mom

I'll keep the faith,

But I really want my dad to stay here

I trust in His way, 

I know your way is best even if it hurts us, we will be ok

Even when His face is hard to see,

Where are you? Why has this happened?

I choose to believe
              “We pray and believe”, said Sabrina

Even when my world is shaken

The ER doctor told my mom, “ He has a spot on his lung, it’s cancer, and he will die”

Even when my heart is breaking

He has only one artery working and even it is partially blocked

Even when it seems He's taken so long

Daddy, please wake up!  If you can hear me, it’s ok to go home, we can take care of mom, but I would really like you to stay

Chorus
I Choose to believe

“We pray and believe”, said Sabrina

And never give up hope
            He won’t say Goodbye, there is no word in Cherokee for goodbye

God is good

All the time

He's in control,

If it is your will to take my father, please make sure you take care of my mom

I'll keep the faith,

But I really want my dad to stay here

I trust in His way, 

I know your way is best even if it hurts us, we will be ok

Even when His face is hard to see,

Where are you? Why has this happened?

I choose to believe,

            “We pray and believe”, said Sabrina

Chorus
I Choose to believe

We did another x-ray and didn’t see a spot on his lung, we aren’t sure what happened? 

And never give up hope
            I know what happened

God is good

You better believe it

He's in control,

He isn’t done with my dad or any of us

I'll keep the faith,

I should have never doubted, I’m sorry, please forgive me

I trust in His way, 

Because it is the only way

Even when His face is hard to see,

My dad saw heaven

I choose to believe,

And he is telling his story, and even though he is weak, and can’t do what he’d like, God’s plan for him is still in motion.

I choose to believe

Be still and know that I am GOD.  I heard your prayers. I answer prayers.

Jesus, Jesus how I trust Him
How I prove Him over and over
Jesus, Jesus precious Jesus
Over grace to trust Him more

Amen

18.7 lbs

Scott and Bill went to the Lake of the Ozarks to fish in a tournament Saturday.  They did well pre-fishing on Friday, catching 7 keepers.  Saturday they had the same number of fish allowing them to finish in 2nd place.  This makes me think of different places people say they find or think of God.  I asked my dad once why he didn't go to church. He told me that he prefers to experience God by way of nature.  Taking pleasure in the beauty of the outdoors, and knowing that it's God creation.  It got me thinking, outside of church, where do I find God?  I know I can always find him in the Bible, of course, but what other things do I look at in amazement, and the first thing that comes to mind is how great God is.  I'm trying to see him in everything, but as I get bogged down with daily life, leaving the kids at daycare to go to work, I am thankful for things like Joy FM, facebook postings from family far away, and blog updates from others about how they are doing and how God is using them.  I know he is transforming me and my husband, because Colin is starting to insist we pray before and sometimes during our meals!  We must be doing something right.  I love seeing Jesus in my kids.  He is here, he is alive, and messing with us.  I'm ready for a fun adventure in getting to know him more.